Al-Anon is for families, relatives and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Do you need Al-Anon?
Many adults question whether they have been affected by alcoholism. If someone close to you has, or has had a drinking problem, the following questions may help you in determining whether alcoholism affected your childhood or present life, and if Al-Anon is for you.
If you answer “yes” to any of the questions below, Al-Anon or Alateen may be able to help you. Find a District 14 (East Contra Costa County) Meeting, or contact us. For meetings outside our District 14 area, search Al-Anon.org meetings.
Does Someone’s Drinking Bother You?
- Do you worry about how much someone else’s drinking
- Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
- Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
- Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
- Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
- Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you”?
- Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
- Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
- Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
- Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
- Do you search for hidden alcohol?
- Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
- Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
- Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
- Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
- Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
- Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
- Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
Are You an Adult Who Grew Up with a Problem Drinker?
- Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
- Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?
- Do you fear criticism?
- Do you over extend yourself?
- Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
- Do you have a need for perfection?
- Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
- Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
- Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?
- Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
- Do you isolate yourself from other people?
- Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
- Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
- Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
- Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?
- Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and abusive?
- Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
- Do you mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
- Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
- Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?
Al-Anon can help. Learn about meetings.